I am one person that cares a lot. Its a different thing to be a caring person in a way that you help others or give or love or forgive easily but its another thing if you care absolutely about the feelings of everybody. That's me! I am one person that cares about others more than myself. I think of others before I think of myself and I care of what other people feel than what I feel and this makes me end up not doing so many things that I should have done or I end up not saying things I should have said. One of my friends called it 'FRIENDSHIP DISORDER'

I have a friendship disorder because I care too much about others and care less about myself but recently, I have learnt not to care anymore.

Someone could insult me badly but rather than me replying back or better still, say my mind, I had rather think

    'How would this person feel if I replied back?'

But I forgot to ask myself

    'Did this person even bother about how I had feel before insulting me?'

An incident happened recently that made me stop caring totally in this context. Its an incident between I and someone I look up to. He seems like a father to me and I respect him a lot. He used to behave very nicely to me but all of a sudden, he changed because of an issue and this made him think of me as something else. It was so bad that he embarrassed me publicly in front of everyone when an issue came up. The annoying part is that he doesn't really know the truth about any of the issues and this is the part that really annoys and annoyed me.

But then, I should have said my mind. I should have explained things to him. The only problem is that in the course of explaining things to him, it had get to hurt him quite bad and I wasn't ready to make anyone feel bad. Instead, I was the one taking all the insults, abuse and blame. I decided to bear it and look at the better side of things.

However, my friend came back to the hostel today and gisted me of all the things the man said about me in front of all my friends and he called me a big liar. This was just too much! One of my friends present told me

    ' Emete, its your reputation first before anything. This man has done too much for you to be caring about how he feels. Tell him your mind because everyone present when he said all those things about you would start seeing you as a bad person without knowing the truth'

That was just the real truth. This is not the first time someone is doing something really bad to me and I keep quiet, bear it and never speak back or say my mind.

As Christians, its okay to have a gentle spirit but yet, we are not dummies. We are not to insult people back when we are insulted as Jesus said if we are slapped on one side of the cheek, we should turn the other side. However, don't interpret this as being foolish. Don't have a friendship disorder. Be a caring person but learnt to speak your mind very politely. At times, silence might just be the best answer and at other times, a word or two said politely, would do the job.

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