UNDERSTANDING MY PARENTS AFTER A LONG TIME


Its very common for kids to have so much problem with their parents while growing up. The fact that its common doesn't make it normal. Many kids never really keep a close and active relationship with their parents most especially in their teenage years. Its either they think their parents are over doing everything or are doing too much less.

Being the last born has always been great fun that comes with favoured priviledges. I get to do little or nothing at home while my elder brothers and sister run the home. Well, I assumed it was gonna be a happily ever after thing till all my brothers and my sister went into the university and I was the only one left and am like 'ok...maybe, they had get a maid or something'. I should have known better. I never saw it coming but I suddenly became a hardworker. From sweeping the floor, to washing the dishes, to cooking for the family, to doing the cleaning, to running errands (how much I detest it) and life suddenly seemed like I had a huge burden on my shoulder.

I went from being the happy and always smiling and cheerful girl to the sad and almost frustrated girl. I just prayed I get into the University real quick or the world comes to an end. I used to tell my friends how much I loved my parents and how much they really cared for me but now, the story was different. I used to wonder how it felt like doing the entire house chores according to my friends stories but now I became a testimony of that. Maybe my parents had stopped loving me, I thought.

I had less time for myself and when I had the opportunity, I would lock myself in my room and fake sleep. My brothers and sister would come home for holiday, make noise, play loud music, disturb the neighbourhood while sending me on errands to very very verrrry far places, eating much and dumping the dishes in the kitchen for me to wash. I just felt life was no longer fair. I began to dislike my parents and I became suddenly uptight. Everything and everyone around me seemed annoying to me. I just wanted to leave the house and get married or something or just jump off the planet into space.

My parents were intolerant of all my rubbish. I would ask if I was the new maid to be treated this way. I always replied back when my parents spoke to me. I would eye my brothers when they instructed me. I did so many annoying thing that I became a burden to everyone and am sure my parents discussed my issue in their private time and how to help me. And my parents were always glad when at church, Pastor talked about Children obeying their parents. My parents 'AMEN' was by then the loudest and when there was a show on TV about kids being obedient, they would call me to sit, learn and hear but I wanted to hear none of that.

They became over protective. They were always checking my phone and that seriously pissed me off. They never wanted to hear any boys talk and never wanted to see me around guys. Trust me, I saved the guys numbers with ladies name and kudos to abbreviations, I knew how to code my chat when around my parents and do you know the annoying thing? PARENTS ALWAYS KNOW! THEY ALWAYS FIND OUT! And when they do, they decide either to react immediately or later or not at all.

But then, I fell on an important scripture in the Bible from the book of Ephesians 6

    VERSE 1 - 'Children, Obey your parents in the Lord for this is right'
   
    VERSE 2 - 'Honour your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise)

    VERSE 3 - 'So that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth'

I had read and heard those verses a million times but I just wondered how possible it was for me to obey my parents that always scolded me and never did things my own way. There was no possible way to really obey them and when I tried to do so, it was like working against my own standards. But the following scripture says in 1 Corinthians 2

    VERSE 12 - 'Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.”      

So I believe God gave us every scripture because He loves us and it takes a mind that is not carnal to not only understand them but accept and apply and I just prayed for God's help and a word dropped in my heart 'UNDERSTANDING'. I placed it in a sentence

    'UNDERSTANDING my parents'

Parenting is not an easy job and our parents try hard that we do not repeat the same mistakes they made when they were of our age. My dad used to keep a big afro when he was younger but he told my brother to get rid of his when he wanted to start keeping an afro. My mom used to wear lots of jewellry, lipstick, short dresses etc but she insisted I wear less and am like 'but they sure did all these'.

I decided to ask questions and my mom explained that they did all that because they were not yet born again and now that they are, they cant watch us repeat their mistakes. I began to understand them. I calculated that if I did all the house chores before they came home, they will be excited and happy. I started doing that and they were much glad. I also prepared my mind for errands and I said to myself

    'Emete, you can be called by mom or dad to go on an errand. So prepare yourself'

I noticed that no matter how much I nagged or complained, I would still end up going on errands. So why don't I just go and enjoy the moment without complaining. I tell you, it worked out very fine! Another thing I used to do was that I would take my mom's money and spend it and then, I would come back later and tell her about it and she felt really bad about it. I would tell her

    'Mom, am your daughter. So your money is my money too'

But then, I developed a new scope. I would think out very important reasons why she should give me the money because my mom just didn't like giving me bucks when I asked her. So I began explaining and she seemed happy and would give me the money I asked and if not everything, half bread is better than none.

I found out that this time is the time to obey and honour my parents so they can be happy with me because when they are gone, we would wish we actually did better things and in return, they started trusting me again and they kept blessing and praying for me. They started granting many of my wishes like they used to when I was much younger and I am glad I am finally 'honouring them'.

This is what the average kid passes through and am sure you can relate. Why not change your tactics and start 'UNDERSTANDING' them. Respect them, love them, appreciate them and most importantly, HONOUR Them. You would make them happy and you will make God happy and proud!

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