RELATIONSHIP TALK - AFTER A BREAK UP, WHATS NEXT?


Break up! Break up! Break up! I hate break - ups. When peeps come over to me with wet eyes telling me about how they just got a break up, I always feel so bad because it always remind me of something...lol. So, I just try to get into their shoes and empathize and console and try to make them feel alright but I know so many people might not heal up even after a year! I know of someone who is still very teary after his break up even after 4 years!. Well, I cant blame such people that much because breaking someone's heart is synonymous to breaking their emotions and every wire connected to their brains, thereby causing a break in their life. Its that deep. However, after a break up, what's next?

1. PRAY

The first thing to do is to pray to God to help you. He alone can help you so that the after effects of the break up don't linger on in your heart and life. Pray to God to feed you with the strength you need to move on. The strength you need to be yourself again. Tell it to your pastor or a trusted Christian friend so that they can also pray for you and give you godly advise.

2. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER

80% of most break ups are 'bye - bye' effects. That means you might never have a chance to come back. So, kill the thoughts that he or she might still accept you back or call you back. Rather than waste so much effort, simply pull yourself together by forgetting the past and moving on. Forgetting the past is the hardest part but what can you do? Nothing! So, pull yourself together. The more you cry, the more you hurt yourself. But I wont advise you not to cry o. Forget people that say crying wont solve anything. Instead, too much crying wont solve anything. Cry o but after that, brace yourself and move on!

3. ENGAGE IN ACTIVITIES

After a break up, you might be forced to pick up a vice. One of my friends started drinking after his girlfriend broke up with him. Till date, he drinks a lot. Don't pick up such reckless vice. Instead, engage in positive activities that could help you forget or relieve your mind of such worries for the moment. It wont be a permanent thing so it would help you for the moment. If you drink or smoke, it won't help you forget permanently too. So, you could engage in swimming, gyming, sports activities etc. You could decide to learn something new like catering, event planning etc. all in a bid to engage your mind and attention at something else.

4. SOCIALIZE

Don't always stay alone. If you do, you will always remember and you will start crying again. You will even start thinking of how to revenge. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Instead, socialize. Make new friends. Go Out. You could go out with your family or friends. Talk, play and laugh. Go to church. Go to the cinema. Go to the beach. Stroll down your street. Call friends. Read books. Chat with friends. Just engage your mind.

5. BE PRODUCTIVE

Breakups have a way of weighing people down. You will become less productive and you will not be able to do so many things. You will loose your appetite and you might become a loner and sadist. Don't do that. The person that jilted you don move on o. No dull yourself. Move on too. It will be hard but that's the way. Be productive in everything you do - school and work.

You have to know that nothing is new under the sun. Other people have passed through same and they are better people now. They still opened their hearts to love and they are better people now. So many of them are married now. So, don't push love away because of someone jilted you. The right person will come. Right now, be productive and live your life for Christ.

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