TO THE NEWLY.WED - NOW THAT YOU ARE MARRIED


So many Owambes took place this saturday and this has always been the trend. Its always the Joy of the bride and groom to have such a colourful wedding with little or no hiccups. However, a colourful wedding doesnt guarantee a colourful marriage and that is why most people encounter problems at the baby stage of their marriage. Its because they refused to plan for their life after wedding. This advise goes to the newlyweds and even those that have been married for a long time.

1. YOUR PRAYER LIFE IS IMPORTANT

Now that you are married, you must recognize the fact that you have even more battles to fight than when you were yet courting or single. If you tried hard to keep your man or woman from the hands of snatchers, you will have to try harder to keep him or her now that you are married. And the best way to do this is by taking your prayer life very serious. I recommend the movie 'war room' for every married couple. It is necessary you dont see your partner as an enemy but instead, fight the real enemy which is the devil who is the author of confusion. You can fight the greatest battle to keep your mrriage by going on your knees both alone and together with your hands clasped together. There is power in unity and agreement. Pray with your spouse always - day and night. Pray for your spouse always - day and night.

2. YOUR SEX LIFE IS IMPORTANT

Did I hear someone say 'EWWW'? I guess that person must be single. If you are single and you are reading this, your sex life is not important till you marry o! As for the married, you have to make sure your sex life is on fire. I attended a wedding, I guess last year, and the chairman of the occasion gave the bride an advise.

    'Always satisfy your husband in bed. Always give yourself absolutely to him both when you are in
   
     the mood and when you are not in the mood. Your body is no longer for you alone but for your

     husband as well'

This message goes to the groom as well. You must always try to spice your sex life up. Sex is a blessing in marriage and it is an obligation. If you are married and you are denying your spouse access to your body or you are using it as a form of punishment to them, you are sinning against God. So, your sex life is important. You can always get Christian Books on Sex. Its allowed for the married.

3. BE YOUR SPOUSE'S BEST FRIEND

You have to be the best friend of your spouse. You have to allow him or her trust absolutely in you. The day your spouse starts keeping secrets from you is the genesis of problems that will give birth to multiple problems. So, keep your spouse close to your heart, encourage them, play with them and be happy for them and with them.

4. YOUR SPOUSE WILL CHANGE

One common thing you always hear among people that encounter problems in their marriage is

    'He was never like this before we got married'

My dear, change is constant. Your spouse will always change and you need to know that by now. But you have to know that however your spouse changes, you have to keep the love burning and thats why you have to keep praying for them. You have to understand and you have to be able to also know how to be flexible so that you can also adapt with the change. Dont go around screaming and getting all vexed because your spouse changed. If its negative change, the best you can do is pray for them continously and consistently and God will intervene.

Another way your spouse might change has to do with physical change. They might become fatter or thinner. They might not look as sweet as they were when you were still courting. Your wife might get a bulgy tommy after having the kids. Dont get so vexed up. You can control the situation by registering your spouse in the gym...you both can decide to gym together. Working together is necessary, important and compulsory.

5. AVOID THIRD - PARTY

Third - Party is one thing that kills relationships, most especially marriages. You dont need to discuss your marital issues with anyone aside your spouse. For you to be married, it indicates you have a level of maturity and so you should be able to solve problems. You dont need to call home every now and then and you dont need to tell your friends whenever you guys hangout. No matter the problem, what should come out of your mouth is

    'All is well'

If the problem aggravates, you can then inform a trust worthy person such as your pastor or parents but not your friend because it could be very dangerous. Also, never go around gossiping about your spouse. Dont make that mistake. You will only allow the enemy in, destroy yourself and destroy your marriage. Create room for effective communication. Talk, gist, laugh, play and pray together all the time!

6. NEVER FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE

The day you start fighting your spouse is the day you give the devil access to your home. You have therefore broken the edge and the serpent would therefore bite. Dont even bother arguing with your spouse. Even if you are a lawyer. Dont make your home a court room or battle ground. Its a life time thing and you cannot afford it. Even if you dont agree with your spouse, there are calmer, better ways of relating your mind with them rather than been aggressive or bossy or irritating or trying to enforce your views. I repeat, you cannot afford it.


For the women, you have to know that he is the head and there are some times you will have to just accept his decisions...infact, many times. You have to be calm and quiet. You dont have to be a chatter box and you shouldnt talk when he is talking...thats disrespectful. Don't walk out on him no matter how irritated or angry you are. Be submissive!

For the men, you dont have to be bossy and annoying because you are the head. Love your wife dearly. If you love her, you wont hurt her. You will want to see her happy always. Never raise you voice and never raise your hand...dont try it!

7. DON'T BE LAZY

The mistake many married couple tend to make is their ability to relax when they finally enter the marriage. The men stop dressing well which applies to the women who tie wrapper all around the house with bathroom slippers and untidy hair. But before the marriage, they always looked like they were going for a dinner date every second. The women stop cooking well and take up a monotonous cooking of rice and eba every morning, afternoon and night, every day. They become dirty and just relax and create room for irritation and annoyance.

8. CO - OPERATE WITH EACH OTHER

You have to learn to co - operate with each other. You are married and you are now one. You must not be divided. You must not be giving different views. You should always spice your relationship up just like when you were dating. Never stop calling just to tell them how much you love, miss and appreciate them. Never stop sending sweet texts. Keep the massage game on. Throw in the unexpected kisses and touch - touch...it is allowed. Call them sweet names and always be sincere with them. God blesses sincerity. Never stop giving them gifts and suprises. Eat together, watch tv together, play together, cook together, wash together and always appreciate them even when things arent looking like it. Remember its for better and for worse. My dear, you don enter am o so make it interesting and sweet for as long as it lasts!

You have to realize that marriage is a serious business that should be taken seriously. With the help of God, you have to endeavour to make your marriage work because if your marriage crashes, it would breed room for regrets and you will be addressed as a failure. Let God have His way in your marriage and everything would be perfectly fine!

EMETE SMART LOVES YOU!


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