I have had to argue and argue even though I seriously hate arguing. I had to argue with a deeper life friend of mine right from 100 level down to 300 level and am sure we might still carry our argument enter 400 level if none of us concedes to one another's opinion about dating. Okay. What's the bone of contention?

My Deeper Life Friend says,

    'Dating is bad for a child of God. A child of God should instead court'

And myself replies,

    'I don't see anything bad in dating. Its only that the word has been bastardized and...'

Before I finish my statement, this my friend go counter me and argument don bere ni yen o.

But seriously, what's with dating though? Or what is dating?

Wikipedia Says

Dating is a part of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage

Well, my only problem is with the word 'mating'. Aside from that, I am fine with the remainder.

Dating to me is being in a relationship with someone with whom you have the vision to marry! SHIKENA!

I always say - God's plan for His children is not for us to be jumping from one relationship to another but for us to enter into the right one that will lead to marriage. So, what's the process or chain to me?


This is when the guy and the girl meet and get to know and like each other.


After liking each other, they move to gear two whereby the guy 'asks her out'...(I don't like the word 'woo' or 'toast'). She prayerfully agrees and they build a relationship. They get to know each other in depthly. They hang out, do few things together and so on and so forth


Seeing that the person is good character wise and is okay for you and complements you and is the perfect will of God for your life, you turn on gear three by proposing marriage to her by using the normal phrase

    'Will you marry me?'

And you expect a 'screaming and maybe tearful, YESSSSS!!!!'


Courting involves getting to know one another even more in depth, meeting parents and all. So now you can fix an engagement and wedding day and live happily ever after!

I think that should be the chain. But my deeper life friend believes in


A 'hi - hi' stuff whereby you watch each other from a distance.


You can be friends for years but when you know you are ready for marriage around 25 or 26 as a lady, you can jump into courtship and start getting to know one another but with a bit of distance.


Tie the knot after like 6 months because time isn't on your age and side again.

Well, we are all entitled to our own opinion but she should just stop looking at me as a backslider when I mention 'dating'.

The word 'dating' has been bastardized. People now associate dating with sex, kissing, romance and all such abominations before God and that's why most churches are against it right now. Okay, if the word is the problem, lets kuku change the name but we cannot skip level 2...lailai.

Just like we have 'gospel music' and 'secular music'. We could call it 'gospel or pure dating' for Christians but we cant sha skip it anyway.

Dating as a Christian or Pure (Gospel) dating as a Christian should be pure and holy, keeping the bed undefiled, with pure hearts, learning to know each other better and helping one another and encouraging one another with the sole vision of marriage. That's my opinion!

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